I’ve learned over the years that the person with the innocent, meekest, baby-like face can be the biggest, baddest, meanest, most aggressive and dangerous crocodile in the lake. This is where discernment comes in. It’s a priceless gift that can save you from the worst mishaps.
If only you would refuse to allow the negative thoughts and words of others to infiltrate your existence, you will find that your spirit will soar to higher heights, you will achieve greater levels of daily productivity, and the ultimate reward for your stance will be a peace and freedom that will invade your soul and saturate your life.
What constitutes a perfect parent? Is it one that does everything right and never makes a mistake? Perhaps… but can we find any of those?
Needless to say, no one is perfect, but when it comes to parenting certain things could and should be expected of adults given the wonderful responsibility of caring and nurturing children. As a parent myself of teenagers, I hope that one day when they’re grown, my kids will genuinely be able to say that my love for them was unconditional, I never had favorites and I did my very best to raise them with solid values and a good moral compass. I do believe that they’re able to say that even now. Am I a perfect parent then? Certainly not! That’s because I’m not a perfect human being. I make mistakes just like everyone else and when I’m wrong or mistaken about something, I apologize to my kids– I show them that I’m not too big to do that. Unfortunately, many parents I know believe it’s beneath them to apologize to their children when they’ve made a mistake, but if that’s the attitude, what are they teaching their kids? How will their children learn to apologize when they’re wrong?
I mentioned earlier that one thing I wanted my kids to be able to say is that I didn’t have favorites. Favoritism seems to be a usual problem in families even from the days of old. If you go by Biblical examples, you may think of Jacob and Esau or Joseph being his father’s favorite. The ideal situation would be that parents train themselves to love their children equally, but to those who don’t, my wish is that you never be open or make the fact obvious that you prefer one child over the other. This can be detrimental to the family structure and cause major problems among the siblings that will continue for years and years and then trickle down to generations. Open, blatant preference for one child over the other will have terrible, long-lasting effects.
In my book,’ INFESTATION: A Small Town Nightmare’, Marie Adams has faced the dilemma of being her mother’s least favorite child and as a grown adult now with a family of her own, she still faces the disdain of her aged mother. As a result of years of her mom’s mistreatment of her, her siblings have basically followed suit and the family structure is nonetheless, broken. However, Marie has turned out to be the most successful of all the children and although treated as an outcast, she has always been there to help each and everyone of them. I wanted to address this topic in my book because it is one that needs to be looked at and each of us as parents need to consider if we’re guilty of ‘tearing down our own house with our own hands’ based on the way we treated our kids.
In closing, I’d like to think that someone can improve the quality of a child’s life if we consider our children’s feelings before we speak and before we act.
Earlier this month, my father turned 76 years old. Often when I think about him these days, I reflect on the awesome miracle God did in his life ten years ago . Back then in 2006, for the first time in my life, I saw just a shell of my father lying on that hospital gurney. None of us knew it right then, but he was suffering from heart failure. We were soon informed that his heart had expanded to the size of his chest and the bottom line was: He would need a heart transplant. Without that, he would have to be on medication for the rest of his life and from the frail condition he was in at that time, there was no telling how long “the rest of his life” would be. I remember the first day he spent in the hospital, I sat in my living room that night and had a heart to heart with God. I told Him (as if He didn’t know) that my Daddy was just 66 years old and he hadn’t even yet seen his three scores & ten. I asked my Heavenly Father to heal my dad and to please allow him to live years beyond the age of 70. God, in turn, miraculously healed my father, took him off the loads of medicine given to him and restored not just his heart and health, but his spirit. He became a new person– the greatest transformation I had ever seen in my entire life.
Every year that Daddy lives past the age of 70, I think about the prayer I prayed that night and how awesome God truly is. I told him the other day after wishing him happy birthday that every birthday he sees takes me back to that night with God. It’s been 10 years since then and my dad told me on his birthday recently that he’s just leaving his “teenage years”. I guess that’s how good he feels when years earlier, he was fighting for his life and the team of doctors never thought he would walk out of that hospital.
I said all of that to say this: Miracles still do happen. As bad and hopeless as life can get sometimes, NEVER GIVE UP! God is still on His throne and He sees everything and most of all, He sees your heart–the state of which propels Him to do great things in your life.
In my book CORNELIUS, I gave a special acknowledgement to my father. His words I heard many times as I was growing up still lingers in my mind and helped mold me into who I am today.
More of Daddy’s story and so much more is in the book: Seeing Beyond the Natural.
Have a beautiful day and all the best. Just thought I’d share that with you.
A wise person doesn’t just digest every bit of information he is fed. While listening, he is instinctively examining the source of that information (the person who is sharing it). The way he handles the knowledge–whether to believe, disbelieve, remain neutral or other–depends upon whether the source is a natural gossiper, back-biter, snake, or someone who is honorable and trustworthy. When it comes to information, always examine your source: It makes all the difference in the world.
Your true friends are not the ones giving lip service to appease you when you’re feeling down. They’re the ones on the battlefield with you every step of the way: Praying for you, weeping when you’re discouraged, giving you a helping hand as they are able, keeping you near to their heart. Anyone can give ‘lip service’ and call himself a friend, but a true friend gets down on that dirty battlefield and fights alongside you. And when you’re too weak to go on, they keep fighting long after you’ve stopped.
No one is exempt from occasional discouragement or despair. It does not discriminate in the least. However, a firm, fixed belief that things are subject to change appeases the mind of the one who refuses to allow such negativity to latch onto them.
Growth rarely ever occurs when we’re inside of our comfort zone. Some of the most beautiful blessings were birthed in pain. If you find yourself in a real struggle today, use it as a means of advancement and growth: Learn what you can, allow your inner being to be strengthened, choose optimism (the right attitude) during the process – Then that which seemed like a curse will be eventually transformed into a blessing.
Instead of focusing on all the things that are wrong with your life, why not focus on what’s right? If you focus on the things that matter the most that have absolutely nothing to do with material things, you can get through the toughest of times with a strength and endurance you never knew you had.